How to Decide What You Really Want

How to Decide What You Really Want

Why don’t most people really know what they want? That’s a good question to ask yourself. Walk into a busy shopping mall and ask some people at random what they want. The vast majority would not be able to tell you.

You would get answers like:

“I don’t really know”

“I haven’t thought about it”

“I am not sure”

If you don’t know what you really want from your life, then you will never get it. You need clarity here. So, make a commitment now to think about what you really want in the short term and the long term.

how to decide what you really want

how to decide what you really want

Why don’t people know what they want?

You would think that as highly intelligent creatures every member of the human race would know what they want from life. After all they have this wonderful thing called a brain, but the problem is they don’t know how to use it properly. Humans can achieve anything. Look around you and see what we have invented and created.

But thinking about what we really want takes effort and focus. Many people would prefer to do something that takes very little thought such as wasting their time on social media.

There’s a message here – if you really want to get what you desire, then you need to put in the effort to get it. Start with thinking through what improvements you want to make in different areas of your life. Put your phone on silent, turn off the TV and any other distractions and take the time out to design your life going forward.

How to decide what you want

Get a pen and plenty of paper and find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. How long will this take you? Well it depends – we are talking about shaping your destiny here so how long it takes should not be an issue for you. It will take as long as it takes.

Try using positive visualization to focus. Divide a sheet of paper in two by drawing a line in the middle. On the left hand side make a heading “things I don’t want” and on the right “things I do want”. Then start thinking about different areas of your life and write down the details of what you REALLY want in your life.  You can use such areas as:

  • Your finances
  • Your relationships
  • Your job or business (how you make money)
  • Your personal life
  • Your hobbies
  • Your health and well-being

Doing this exercise will give you clarity about a desired dream you wish to attain.

Go from a dream to attainment

Here are some easy steps to attain that important dream you discovered in the exercise above.

  1. Decide what you want
  2. Believe you can have it
  3. Believe it is possible for you
  4. Establish your priorities
  5. Make a plan
  6. Take action

Focus on what kind of life you really want and say NO to everything that stands in the way of your goals.

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Try to Be the Very Best You Can Be

Try to Be the Very Best You Can Be

Be the very best you can be!

Coach John Wooden said one of the most important things his father taught him was this:

Never try to be better than someone else, but always be learning from others. Never cease trying to be the best you can be. One is under your control; the other isn’t.

It was an idea that ultimately defined how he approached life and competition.

In his book Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court with Steve Jamison, Coach Wooden explained how he used this idea as a coach:

“Preparing UCLA for a basketball game with Louisville or Arizona or Duke or Michigan, I would tell my players, ‘We can’t control what those other fellows do to get ready. We can only control what we do to get ready. So let’s do our very best in that regard and hope that will be good enough, yes, to outscore them. But let’s not worry about that. Instead, let’s worry about our own preparation.’

“Let’s say I want to build a car—maybe a Ford or a Chevrolet or a Plymouth. I want to build it the best I can possibly build it. Will it be better than a Cadillac or a Mercedes? That’s irrelevant.

“If I’m building a Ford, I simply want to build the very best Ford I can build. That’s all I can do: to come close to my level of competency, not somebody else’s. I have nothing to do with theirs, only mine.

“To worry about whether what I’m building is going to be better than what somebody else is building elsewhere is to worry needlessly. I believe that if I’m worried about what’s going on outside, it will detract from my preparation inside.

“My concern, my focus, my total effort should be on building the very best Ford I can build. I did that in coaching high school teams and in coaching college teams. My focus was on making that team, that group of individuals, the best they were capable of becoming, whether it was a Ford or a Cadillac.

If you want to be the very best you can be, please contact me here.



What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

What do you want to do with your life?

It’s a question almost everyone asks…

It’s also a question I don’t believe you should bother asking in the first place.

“I don’t know what I want to do in life, all I know is that it isn’t this.”

That was the sentiment a friend reflected to me. She’s in her mid-twenties, smart, savvy and hard working. But she is still stuck working jobs that don’t hover much beyond minimum wage. Every year, she tells me, that she applies for Universities, but never goes through with it. Why? Because she can’t answer that question.

Passion Evolves

I worry a lot of people fall into the same trap. The trap of believing that they need to make big life decisions before they can start doing anything. The trap that you need to be born with a passion. And the lie that being able to combine your interests with a profession is easy.

When people ask me what I’m going to be doing in five or ten years, I usually tell them I’m going to be an entrepreneur. “Oh. What’s your business going to be?” I have reason to believe this internet business could be it. Between revenues and freelance work I’m expecting to make about ten thousand dollars this year. Concentrated effort for the next four or five years could definitely make this a livable income.

But I don’t usually say that. Because it isn’t the point. In all honesty, I have no idea where I am going to be in a decade. My track record shows that my passions have evolved considerably, even over the last couple years.

Ben Casnocha, the 19-year old CEO of Comcate, shows how his passion didn’t start with a flash of insight, in the book My Start Up Life:

“It didn’t start with a dream. It didn’t start with in a garage. It didn’t even start with an innovative epiphany, which are perhaps entrepreneurs’ most overplayed recollections.” He continues, relating the story of Jerry Kaplan’s epiphany moment in Kaplan’s book, Start Up. To which Ben adds, “I wish my epiphany were as primal. It wasn’t, and most aren’t.” [emphasis mine]

As Ben shares his story of being a teenage CEO, it becomes clear that his passion evolved. There were interests in entrepreneurship and making a difference. But from these interests, he made smaller steps, each building a passion. I don’t believe his journey ever started with deciding what he wanted to do with his life.

Replace Decision With Curiosity

Instead of making definite decisions about a career path, I believe you should get curious. Get curious about the way the world works. Notice your own interests and find small ways you can exercise passion in something. Even if you can’t find a way to make money off of it yet.

The bridge from passion to money-maker can’t be made hastily. Interests often get discarded because they cannot be immediately relayed into a source of income. And therefore aren’t as important as work that does.