How to Decide What You Really Want

How to Decide What You Really Want

Why don’t most people really know what they want? That’s a good question to ask yourself. Walk into a busy shopping mall and ask some people at random what they want. The vast majority would not be able to tell you.

You would get answers like:

“I don’t really know”

“I haven’t thought about it”

“I am not sure”

If you don’t know what you really want from your life, then you will never get it. You need clarity here. So, make a commitment now to think about what you really want in the short term and the long term.

how to decide what you really want

how to decide what you really want

Why don’t people know what they want?

You would think that as highly intelligent creatures every member of the human race would know what they want from life. After all they have this wonderful thing called a brain, but the problem is they don’t know how to use it properly. Humans can achieve anything. Look around you and see what we have invented and created.

But thinking about what we really want takes effort and focus. Many people would prefer to do something that takes very little thought such as wasting their time on social media.

There’s a message here – if you really want to get what you desire, then you need to put in the effort to get it. Start with thinking through what improvements you want to make in different areas of your life. Put your phone on silent, turn off the TV and any other distractions and take the time out to design your life going forward.

How to decide what you want

Get a pen and plenty of paper and find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. How long will this take you? Well it depends – we are talking about shaping your destiny here so how long it takes should not be an issue for you. It will take as long as it takes.

Try using positive visualization to focus. Divide a sheet of paper in two by drawing a line in the middle. On the left hand side make a heading “things I don’t want” and on the right “things I do want”. Then start thinking about different areas of your life and write down the details of what you REALLY want in your life.  You can use such areas as:

  • Your finances
  • Your relationships
  • Your job or business (how you make money)
  • Your personal life
  • Your hobbies
  • Your health and well-being

Doing this exercise will give you clarity about a desired dream you wish to attain.

Go from a dream to attainment

Here are some easy steps to attain that important dream you discovered in the exercise above.

  1. Decide what you want
  2. Believe you can have it
  3. Believe it is possible for you
  4. Establish your priorities
  5. Make a plan
  6. Take action

Focus on what kind of life you really want and say NO to everything that stands in the way of your goals.

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3 Tips to Be More Confident + Get What You Want

3 Tips to Be More Confident + Get What You Want

Do you want more self-confidence? It will be difficult for you to achieve your goals and get what you really want if you are have low self-assurance. You need a high degree of confidence to tackle something that you have never done before. Here are 3 tips to be more confident and get what you want.

When you tackle new things, you push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Too many people stay in their comfort zone for their entire life. Don’t be like this! Change your negative mindset. Try something new and bolster your self-confidence.

1. Deal with Irrational Fear

If you have an irrational fear of public speaking, your subconscious mind will try to protect you from things that you fear. It’ll help you avoid every possible opportunity for you to make a public speech. This kind of fear is illogical and doesn’t help you at all.

What can you do?

  • The best way is to tackle irrational fears head on. Just do it anyway despite the pain. You will give your confidence a massive boost.
  • Join an organization such Toastmasters. Toastmasters International can help you improve your communication and build leadership skills. Learn the best techniques for public speaking and then put this into practice. You’ll send the right signals to your subconscious and your confidence will increase significantly.

2. Is Your Self Esteem High?

Be honest with yourself here. What do you really think about yourself? Are some things good and some things bad? Do you really love yourself? Do you beat yourself up regularly if you make a mistake or for any other reason?

If you want to be super confident then your self esteem needs to be high. If you have a low opinion of yourself then you need to work on this right now.

3 Tips to Be More Confident and Get What You Want

3 Tips to Be More Confident and Get What You Want

What can you do?

  • Write down what you think your weaknesses are and then turn these around into positive statements, often called affirmations.

For example, if you think “I’m not good in social situations” turn this into “I’m like a social magnet and always get what I want from social situations”. The reason you need to do this is to create a list of positive affirmations.

  • Read your list of positive statements read out loud every morning and evening to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

3. Use a Physical Anchor for Instant Confidence

This is very easy to do and very powerful. Think back to something that you achieved in the past. It needs to be something challenging that you are really proud of. Reflect on how this makes you feel and make the feelings really strong.

When these feelings are at their peak squeeze your thumb and forefinger together to “anchor” the feeling. Now when you need a confidence boost in the future all you need to do is squeeze your thumb and forefinger together.

You now have some easy techniques you can do anytime to increase your self-confidence. Do these regularly and your sense of self-worth and self-esteem will be so much stronger.

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Setting Boundaries That Protect Your Me-Time

Setting Boundaries That Protect Your Me-Time

When you begin to implement a self-care routine, you may find that you run into some opposition. You are introducing change. As with any new habit, chances are good that you’ll have some trouble adjusting and getting used to new ideas. Time and practice will help you overcome any personal resistance. Here’s why setting boundaries that protect your me-time is so important:

However, you’re not the only person you may be up against once you start prioritizing your own needs. Unfortunately, friends and family may have a problem with your new focus. Read on to learn why this occurs and how to set boundaries that protect your me-time.

Why The Resistance?

Claiming time for yourself can be scary to the people who are closest to you. Even though they may want what’s best for you, they may fear that prioritizing yourself will take you away from them in some way. Perhaps they’re afraid they’ll lose time with you or that you’ll move on without them. Unfortunately, there may be those who don’t have your best interests at heart. These folks see you claiming time for yourself as limiting them in some way, and they don’t like it.

Tell Your Story

In order to overcome resistance in well-meaning individuals, there are some steps you can take. Tell them why this time for self-care is important to you. Let them know what you hope to gain from putting your own needs first. Often when people understand that doing things for yourself isn’t about taking anything away from them, they will be more ready to support you.

Ask for Understanding

Once you’ve let those close to you know why it is you’re pursuing acts of self-care, you may choose to go a step further and ask them to understand what it is you need from them. After all, they’ll be better able to support you if they know what that kind of support looks like. Perhaps you may wish to let your family know that you’ll need an hour of alone time when you come home from work in order to unwind. Maybe this will involve telling your significant other that you’d appreciate some extra help with the kids so you can attend to your currently neglected needs. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.

Setting Boundaries That Protect Your Me-Time

Setting Boundaries That Protect Your Me-Time

Stand Firm

 Finally, you may need to stand firm in your boundaries. This is especially true with regard to those who might be more concerned with their own needs over yours. If you’ve explained yourself and someone still wants to be upset about your boundaries, you don’t owe them anything further. Part of setting aside time for yourself is prioritizing your own needs. This process may require you to be ruthless when others object. You have the right to claim your time.

 Now that you understand the type of resistance you may encounter on your quest for self-care, you’re more prepared to counter any objections. Use the steps above to guide you and don’t be afraid to stand up for what you need.

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3 Steps To Real Happiness

3 Steps To Real Happiness

People are always searching for happiness. Why? It’s that one elusive part of the whole human puzzle that’s hard to find. Common things like money, a better job, better relationships often form the basis of the search to become happy. To find true joy and contentment, look inside yourself to become your own best friend.
Consider using these 3 Steps to Real Happiness:

1. Embrace an Attitude of Gratitude.

Ask yourself this question: Do you take certain aspects of your life for granted? — such as food and water, your health, time, friends and family, your significant other? The renowned author Aldous Huxley once wrote, “Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”

  • Shift your attitude to see things in a more positive manner. You won’t have to change anything about your external circumstances.
  • Happiness is an inside job. Optimistic individuals are thankful for what they have and are content.
  • Our mind and body are interdependent. Harmony in the body, mind and soul is the answer to supreme happiness and wellness. Reaching this stasis should be an important goal for every individual.

2. Silence Your Inner Critic

Your inner nay-sayer may be one of the biggest contributors to your self-sabotage. It causes you to get in your own way. You avoid the things that could ultimately propel you forward toward living your best life. Here are a few things you can do to become more positive and happier:

  • Lift yourself up – don’t put yourself down. No one can change for the better when filled with negative thoughts. The more positively you treat yourself, the happier you will be.
  • Give yourself definite rewards. You’re in charge of you. Don’t expect others to always applaud you. If the expected compliment does not materialize, you may become bitter. Are you proud of what you’ve done? savor that satisfaction. Feel the positive happiness!!

Enjoy your successes. Get busy. You may not be ready to confront your negative self-talk directly, but you can take steps toward the things you desire. The smallest actions will give you confidence and fuel your motivation.

3 Steps To Real Happiness

3 Steps To Real Happiness

3. Be Practical About Attaining Your Goals

  • Create specific goals to work toward when building your best life. Make it a daily goal to appreciate everything and everyone that makes you thankful.
  • Set some goals and begin to implement them. You may need to break them down into particular areas of your life.
  • Separate your goals into categories of personal, career, financial, leisure, and more. Use whatever categorization makes sense for you and your goals. Breaking things down in this way gives you a clearer picture in order to create a more specific vision of your best life.

 Remember: “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things” (Albert Einstein)

 

 

 

Try to Be the Very Best You Can Be

Try to Be the Very Best You Can Be

Be the very best you can be!

Coach John Wooden said one of the most important things his father taught him was this:

Never try to be better than someone else, but always be learning from others. Never cease trying to be the best you can be. One is under your control; the other isn’t.

It was an idea that ultimately defined how he approached life and competition.

In his book Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court with Steve Jamison, Coach Wooden explained how he used this idea as a coach:

“Preparing UCLA for a basketball game with Louisville or Arizona or Duke or Michigan, I would tell my players, ‘We can’t control what those other fellows do to get ready. We can only control what we do to get ready. So let’s do our very best in that regard and hope that will be good enough, yes, to outscore them. But let’s not worry about that. Instead, let’s worry about our own preparation.’

“Let’s say I want to build a car—maybe a Ford or a Chevrolet or a Plymouth. I want to build it the best I can possibly build it. Will it be better than a Cadillac or a Mercedes? That’s irrelevant.

“If I’m building a Ford, I simply want to build the very best Ford I can build. That’s all I can do: to come close to my level of competency, not somebody else’s. I have nothing to do with theirs, only mine.

“To worry about whether what I’m building is going to be better than what somebody else is building elsewhere is to worry needlessly. I believe that if I’m worried about what’s going on outside, it will detract from my preparation inside.

“My concern, my focus, my total effort should be on building the very best Ford I can build. I did that in coaching high school teams and in coaching college teams. My focus was on making that team, that group of individuals, the best they were capable of becoming, whether it was a Ford or a Cadillac.

If you want to be the very best you can be, please contact me here.